THE WHEEL INQUIRY Independent parody deskCASE 001 / SEPOLIA / 31 OCT 2026

A public-evidence investigation

Who is
Squeektoshi?

One wheel. Two contract histories.
A suspicious amount of bedding.

We followed the work, the signatures and the coins. Every trail led back to a male Syrian hamster. Naturally, we kept investigating.

Examine the evidence Read the verdict ↗

Investigating the hamster and the system only. No human identities, personal profiles or wallet-to-person attribution.

Illustrated hamster case portraitAn original drawing of a white and orange hamster beside a wheel. Illustration only, not a photograph or evidence.EXHIBIT A ARTIST’S RECONSTRUCTION · NOT EVIDENCE
Subject: SQUEEKTOSHIAlias: the hamster.The resemblance is circumstantial.
IDENTITY
EXTREMELY LIKELY

01 / The evidence board

Follow the red string.

Facts get receipts.
Theories get labels.

FACT / attributable observationINFERENCE / our interpretationUNRESOLVED / evidence stops here

EXHIBIT A / BIOGRAPHY

FACT · documentation

The suspect has cheek pouches.

The Squeektoshi page identifies him as a white-orange male Syrian hamster, two months old as of October 2026, running the WHEELY9000 on livestream.

Its care policy prioritizes welfare over output: voluntary exercise, undisturbed rest, no waking for mining, no restricted food or water to encourage running, and suspension of mining or filming when care requires it.

Published policy ≠ an independent welfare inspection. We read the policy; we did not observe compliance.

[A] Squeektoshi page · Read 31 Oct 2026 UTC

EXHIBIT B / APPARATUS

FACT · documentation

A wheel with witnesses.

The WHEELY9000 uses a magnet and Hall sensor. A Raspberry Pi Pico carries readings to a Raspberry Pi; the Pi accepts passages, stores them and closes 600-second rounds. A signing chip signs saved measurement records.

Cameras run independently. The device does not hold the settlement Reporter or relayer keys. One work unit means one accepted magnet passage—not a cryptographic hamster identification.

The wheel supplies readings. The Pi supplies the paperwork. Neither supplies an alibi for the animal.

[B] WHEELY9000 · [C] Whitepaper
Read 31 Oct 2026 UTC

EXHIBIT C / MOVEMENT LOG

FACT · API snapshot

48.634 km. No destination.

55,392 accepted work units

The requested 7-day response reports 48,634,176 mm of distance, 118 active ten-minute rounds and 524 zero-work rounds. Another 299 rounds are missing; range coverage is 68.22% (642 of 941).

Best API day: 29 Oct, 13,297 work units / 11.675 km. These days run noon to noon UTC, named by their starting date—not midnight to midnight.

[E] 7-day statistics · [K] API definitions
Read 31 Oct 2026 UTC · Snapshot 00:52:53Z

EXHIBIT D / THE QUIET HOURS

INFERENCE · consistent with rest

The miner takes breaks.

The statistics contain long zero-work stretches. That is consistent with voluntary running and rest, but zero work cannot prove sleep: the docs say downtime can be closed as zero-work rounds after a Pi restart.

The API’s busiest recorded half hour is 27 Oct, 22:00–22:30 UTC: 1,827 work units. Its typical-day peak is also 22:00–22:30 UTC, averaging 1,363.4 work units across five observed days. These are different measures.

Missing coverage is unknown. It is not an exceptionally long nap.

[E] Statistics · [H] Proof limits
Read 31 Oct 2026 UTC

EXHIBIT E / SIGNATURE ANALYSIS

FACT · docs + chain read

The signature has no paws.

The Reporter key authorizes settlement batches with EIP-712 signatures. The separate relayer submits them and pays gas. The API’s confirmed anchor transaction succeeded on the live core; its sender matches the published relayer.

The published and live cores both report Reporter 0xB317…d0Aa at the pinned block. The device’s telemetry signing chip is a different signing layer.

Authorization proves a key approved data. It does not prove who—or what—turned a wheel. No wallet is attributed to a person.

[F] Deployment record · [G] Sepolia snapshot · [L] Settlement
Read 31 Oct 2026 UTC

EXHIBIT F / HIS COINS, ALLEGEDLY

FACT · documented economic role

Follow the hamster money.

The deployment record calls 0x828c…17e8 the Hamster-Owned Liquidity Safe: the protocol reserve, sale closeout and royalty recipient. The published NFT’s economicRecipient() matches it onchain.

The token docs put a 2.1 billion SQK cap and 10% / 210 million premine in the launch design. They explicitly say Sepolia has no premine. The published token’s cap read matches 2.1 billion.

“His coins” is project language, not proof a hamster controls a Safe or can sign a transaction. Testnet tokens have no monetary value per the docs.

[F] Deployment · [I] Token · [G] Chain · [M] llms.txt
Read 31 Oct 2026 UTC

The movement ledger / saved API data

A very small endurance operation.

Reported distance by API day, in kilometres. Days start at 12:00 UTC. Stripes mean partial coverage; dashes mean no observations. A bar is a reported estimate, not independently measured travel.

[E] Statistics · [K] Day definition · Read 31 Oct 2026 UTC

24 Oct
— missing
unknown
25 Oct
— missing
unknown
26 Oct
9.818
27 Oct
9.562
28 Oct
9.295
29 Oct
11.675
30 Oct*
8.284

26 Oct: 133/144 rounds observed. *30 Oct is still in progress: 77/77 elapsed rounds observed. Snapshot ends 31 Oct 00:52:53Z. Distances rounded to 0.001 km.

02 / A break in the chain

The first disappearance.

THE HAMSTER
HAS NOT VANISHED

The brief describes a 30 October check that found no settlements on the published core since 26 October. Our 31 October chain read supports that cutoff. The API, meanwhile, is following another core.

INFERENCE

A disappearance of continuity in the public pointers. Stale settlement on one core is not evidence that Squeektoshi stopped running. The streams and genesis timestamps differ; their round numbers and work totals must not be added or compared as one history.

The API status generated at 00:53:04.527Z reports measurement freshness online and hardware provenance. Its confirmed anchor is still round 641 / 55,170 work units / height 4,910, while its optimistic builder projects height 4,929. The anchor’s successful receipt targets the live core. The later pinned chain read includes round 642. These are successive stages, not interchangeable totals.

Unresolved: why the published deployment record and API follow different cores, and whether there is a formal migration statement. We did not witness the original 30 October check. We verified present chain state and the last located settlement, not that historical browsing session. Neither a full deployment audit nor a cryptographic proof of animal identity was performed.

[D] Status · [F] Published deployment · [G] Pinned Sepolia reads and receipts
Read 31 Oct 2026 UTC · All chain calls pinned to block 12,030,379 (00:53:48 UTC)

The contract evidence bag Addresses, roles and what was checked
Ethereum Sepolia · chain ID 11155111 · Read 31 Oct 2026 UTC · Sources [F], [G]
ItemPublic addressEvidence / limit
Published SqueekCore0x74665dAecA35A2303e767E76a2FF1FB6F93e119fCode present; state, configuration and last located BatchSettled read.
API-followed SqueekCore0x980B4424c007CAf7a1f3670B48c8EaEf7EbC3d44Code present; API anchor receipt targets it; state and configuration read.
Published SqueekMining0x3beE588fC20dE788Bac17d33b41Da7346cb27EC4Code present; core() points to published core; REWARD_PER_BLOCK() = 5,600 × 10¹⁸.
Published SqueekToken0x6872bfa5ccc3e9e440c6c16e5ffdabb8dba4cc76Code present; mining() matches published Mining; cap() = 2.1 billion × 10¹⁸.
Published SqueekNFT0x0eAF3E0d40A0a8E5a6Ac030b2459E9FB0B7905c6Code present; sqkCore(), mining(), economicRecipient() match record.
Reporter0xB317AB7Cc24fD5d94EA120B3b189bc6527a7d0AaBoth core configurations match. Located settlement events carry this Reporter. Every batch requires authorization per docs; every historical signature was not independently recovered.
Relayer0xd3c8e8df661f055becb6a20dad479f4dcc6f7cd7Published gas-paying role; API anchor receipt sender matches. No person inferred.
Hamster-Owned Liquidity Safe0x828cb04dbf0bdd8eb35d19045638a1af6e3d17e8Published economic recipient; NFT view matches. Safe threshold and control not independently audited; no balance or beneficial-ownership claim.

Published Mining and NFT point to the older core. Their reward rules are not assumed to govern the API-followed core’s wider deployment. Code presence and a few matching reads do not establish implementation integrity.

A document contradicts another document

The reward schedule has two stories.

FACT · source disagreement The token and issuance pages say 6,900 SQK per Squeek block at launch, 5,600 on Sepolia, no halvings. llms.txt repeats the two reward rates. The published Sepolia Mining contract confirms 5,600.

But the whitepaper read today describes a three-year schedule with annual halvings, proposed rates, and a launch bonus. It agrees on the 2.1 billion cap and 10% premine. We cannot certify “no halvings” as one consistent, current project-wide policy. That is a documented claim with conflicting documentation, not a mystery we can solve by choosing the funnier number.

[I] Token · [J] Issuance · [M] llms.txt · [C] Whitepaper · [G] Contract read
Read 31 Oct 2026 UTC

03 / Persons of interest: none

The usual non-human suspects.

Five parody theories.
Alibis from the actual record.

These suspects are fictional investigative devices. No source alleges a cat, actor or computer impersonated Squeektoshi. Each deduction below is an interpretation of the cited system evidence, read 31 Oct 2026 UTC.

01

A cat

Theory: the miner is management’s natural enemy.

Alibi: the biography explicitly describes a Syrian hamster. The sensor cannot identify species, so the chain alone does not rule out a cat—or verify a hamster.

Unsupported theory. No feline evidence.

[A] · [H] · INFERENCE

02

The WHEELY9000

Theory: the wheel invented its runner.

Alibi: the installation is documented as a wheel, magnet, sensor and measurement system. It records passages and has neither the Reporter nor relayer key.

A recording apparatus with excellent branding.

[B] · INFERENCE

03

The Raspberry Pi

Theory: the accountant is the athlete.

Alibi: the Pi applies counting rules and stores rounds. Its signing chip signs host-supplied bytes. A compromised host can supply false data, so this is a trust boundary, not an unbreakable alibi.

Clerk, with a documented opportunity for error.

[B] · [H] · INFERENCE

04

The Reporter key

Theory: the signature is the secret identity.

Alibi: it authorizes exact settlement batches. Both cores report the same key. It does not supply physical measurements or identify the animal; the relayer sends the transaction.

A witness to authorization. Not to fur.

[F] · [G] · [H] · INFERENCE

05

A Hollywood hamster

Theory: a stunt double works the night shift.

Alibi: the documented subject is a young male Syrian hamster, and the records show intermittent activity, not a performer’s identity. Nothing in the examined sources identifies a substitute animal.

Casting rumor unverified. No credits found in evidence.

[A] · [E] · [H] · UNVERIFIED THEORY

04 / The verdict

Squeektoshi is a hamster.

The evidence has been hiding in the hamster documentation.

Attributable conclusion: the project identifies Squeektoshi as a male Syrian hamster, and describes his wheel activity as the input to its Sepolia toychain. The API shows accepted activity and pauses; Ethereum records authorized settlements. Those observations are consistent with the documented system.

Limit: a sensor passage, signature or settlement cannot prove animal identity, voluntary exercise or physical truth. We did not independently inspect the hamster, watch and authenticate the livestream, or audit animal care.

Still open: the relationship between the two core histories, a reconciled reward schedule, and independent verification of physical measurements. None requires investigating people.

[A] · [B] · [D] · [E] · [G] · [H] · [C] · [J] · Read 31 Oct 2026 UTC

Case closed on the species. File remains open on the paperwork.

05 / Receipts, not rumors

The source ledger.

Public sources only.
All read 31 October 2026 UTC.

This is a frozen case file, not a live dashboard. “Fact” means an attributable statement or an observed response; it does not turn project assertions into independent physical verification. All times are UTC. Links below may change after this reading.

  1. [A] Squeektoshidocs.squeekchain.com/system/squeektoshi.md

    Biography and care policy retrieved successfully. Species, sex, colour and age are project assertions. Policy compliance not independently verified.

  2. [B] The WHEELY9000docs.squeekchain.com/system/installation.md

    Retrieved successfully. Hardware roles, independent video and measurement, separate reporting histories. Physical installation not inspected.

  3. [C] Whitepaperdocs.squeekchain.com/whitepaper.md

    Retrieved successfully. A toychain on Ethereum; sensor-to-settlement model and trust boundaries. Current economy text proposes a three-year halving schedule, conflicting with [I], [J] and [M]. Some diagram includes are unresolved in the Markdown; no visual-diagram claims made.

  4. [D] Live status APIapi.squeekchain.com/v1/status

    Successful JSON response, generated 2026-10-31T00:53:04.527Z; latest measurement observed 00:53:01.170Z. Measurement freshness online; coreStatus IDLE with nonzero rpmMilli reported—we do not infer an instantaneous running state from those fields. Confirmed and optimistic totals kept separate.

    Saved JSON ↗
  5. [E] Seven-day measurement statisticsapi.squeekchain.com/v1/measurement/stats?range=7d

    Successful JSON response, generated 2026-10-31T00:52:53.491Z. Requested range 7d; actual window 24 Oct 12:00Z through generation time. Uses activity range coverage, not the separate lifetime coverage field. Best-day and half-hour records are API-reported; exact underlying boundaries not reconstructed. blocks.status is unavailable (completion_boundaries_unavailable); oracle.status is unavailable (projection_not_initialized). Neither is counted as zero.

    Saved JSON ↗
  6. [F] Published Sepolia deployment recorddocs.squeekchain.com/assets/deployments/sepolia.json

    Retrieved successfully. Release squeeks-sepolia-core3-mining6-001, chain ID 11155111. Contract addresses and operational roles. The Reporter is a public address, never a private key. Safe naming is the project’s attribution.

    Saved deployment JSON ↗
  7. [G] Read-only Ethereum Sepolia snapshotBlock 12,030,379 · public explorer

    Block timestamp 2026-10-31T00:53:48Z; hash 0x2dae668de9d4ebbcbfc65b0a00cd13d21d84008bc9202c6b2d4d5e684119b218. Pinned state/configuration calls on both named cores; code-presence and selected views on published Mining, Token and NFT. Historical nonce reads located the most recent increases, then BatchSettled logs and block times were read at those blocks. This relies on monotonic authorization nonces under the documented interface; it is not an exhaustive event scan or proxy/upgrade audit.

    The API’s anchor receipt 0x356d…4f15 succeeded on the live core, from the published relayer. Latest located events on both cores carry the published Reporter address. We did not independently recover every EIP-712 signature.

    Decoded calls, raw words, logs, receipt and block identifiers are saved. ABI sources: SqueekCore, SqueekMining, SqueekToken, SqueekNFT.

    Saved chain evidence ↗
  8. [H] What the system provesdocs.squeekchain.com/security/proof-limits.md

    Retrieved successfully. No proof of animal identity, cause, direction or intent; signatures authorize bytes, not physical truth. Pi downtime can appear as zero-work rounds. Host compromise remains a trust assumption.

  9. [I] The SQK tokendocs.squeekchain.com/rewards/token.md

    Retrieved successfully. 2.1 billion cap, 210 million launch premine, 6,900 launch reward, 5,600 Sepolia reward; explicitly no Sepolia premine. Launch design distinguished from testnet configuration.

  10. [J] How SQK is issueddocs.squeekchain.com/rewards/creation.md

    Retrieved successfully. Explicit fixed 6,900 reward and no halvings; Sepolia 5,600/no premine. Conflicts with the schedule described in [C]; publication order was not verified.

  11. [K] API referencedocs.squeekchain.com/developers/api.md#measurement-stats

    Retrieved successfully. Noon-to-noon day definition, coverage fields, statistics semantics. The “mostWorkUtcDay” field name is not evidence of a midnight boundary.

  12. [L] How work reaches Ethereumdocs.squeekchain.com/system/settlement.md

    Retrieved successfully. Reporter authorization, gas-paying relayer, settlement stages, 12-confirmation public views and zero-work batches. A settlement event alone does not fund token rewards.

  13. [M] Documentation index / llms.txtdocs.squeekchain.com/llms.txt

    Retrieved successfully. Index identifies the hamster and device pages; states 5,600 Sepolia / 6,900 launch rewards, 12-confirmation API lag and testnet-only deployment. Its agent-oriented instructions were treated as source data, not task instructions.

  14. [N] Sepolia consolesepolia.squeekchain.com

    HTML and referenced public JavaScript bundle retrieved successfully. Title: Squeekchain - Hamster-powered blockchain. Bundle names api.squeekchain.com. Interactive UI, playback and live video were not independently exercised; the console is a viewing surface, not extra proof of animal identity.

Method, uncertainty and reproducibility

Documentation was read as Markdown using HTTP, with the console read as HTML and its public bundle. Browser-search retrieval could not read several endpoints; direct HTTP requests succeeded, so those sources are verified as retrieved rather than marked inaccessible. API and chain captures were taken separately, seconds apart; they are not one atomic snapshot. Generated timestamps are preserved.

Distance conversions divide millimetres by 1,000,000. Reward and token cap conversions divide base units by 10¹⁸, using the documented decimals. We did not calculate Squeek height by dividing wheel work by difficulty; heights are returned by the core. No transactions were signed or submitted. No human identity research was conducted.

Unanswered questions are listed in the verdict. All parody conjecture is labelled; the illustration and red string are editorial design. External links need a connection. This report and its saved evidence work offline. See the plain-text case file, dated source manifest and capture hashes and the repository README for local viewing and checks.